Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Signs You Have a High-Maintenance Child

You might have a high-maintenance child if...
  1. You started making emperor jokes before he was even home from the hospital.
  2. You bought six of THE blanket--two to use, two to wash, and two just in case. Plus a back-up lovey, three of the favorite cup, and identical potties for each bathroom. Yes, for one child. No, you've never regretted it.
  3. Forget the cute little pastel sign for the doorknob. Your QUIET--BABY'S SLEEPING sign is in fifteen-inch-high letters on every door of your house. And the last person who rang your doorbell at 2 PM now avoids your entire neighborhood.
  4. She said "shoes" before "mama."
  5. You serve dinner in a muffin tin so the foods won't touch.
  6. You've had to carry him out of an event that hundreds of other small children were quietly enjoying. But that's okay because...
  7. You've mastered the "sympathetic carry": you can carry a thirty-five pound, kicking, screaming child in a gentle way that affirms that A)  you are not going to allow this behavior to go on here, and not giving in to a tantrum, yet B) you are neither kidnapping the child nor dragging him out to the car for a beating.
  8. You wonder if preschool is worth the drama, even after months.
  9. You have read every parenting book published in your lifetime.
  10. You never, EVER stir the yogurt.


  1. I have a new appreciation for this... And I can add to the list.